Last Wednesday Governor’s Ball revealed the full list of artists performing at this year’s festival, and earlier today Panorama went ahead and did the same. So in the span of just five days the stage for much of New York City’s 2017 summer music scene has already been set. A friendly reminder: these two festivals are over seven weeks apart. Throw in the fact that both Coachella (April) and BottleRock (May) published their lineups last Tuesday, and that Bonaroo (June) is most likely announcing theirs this week, and all of a sudden we (really me, mostly) got ourselves a panic-inducing amount of music that is months away in a very, very short period of time. We’re only one week into the new year, hot off of spending god knows what on gifts, travel, and hams over the holidays, and we’re already being bombarded with enticing but relatively expensive purchases that could potentially sell out before I even have time to pull out my credit card, stare at it, and use it to pull the trigger on these tickets instead of health insurance for a few months.

That said, let’s just focus on the two NYC festivals. Look at these lineups:

Source: governorsballmusicfestival.com

Source: twitter.com/panoramanyc

Did you look at them? Did you?? Tool! Wu-Tang! A Tribe Called Quest and Nine Inch Nails unfairly poised to have to split the crowd against each other! The middle- to lower-billed acts in each of those lineups are some real prime cuts of meaty goodness as well. I feel like a bully named Randall is basically just holding me upside down and shaking lunch money out of my pockets. Fine, Randall, take all of my money. Take it now so that come summertime I forget that you ever did this to me. You jerk.